I was so excited to come to the hospital today knowing I was going to give birth to my baby boy but I was also very nervous as I remembered the pain of having a c-section, epidural, IV, catheter, etc. As I entered the labor and delivery unit the desk nurse was with someone and asked me to have a seat and wait for a moment. As soon as I sat down I noticed a box on the counter. I knew immediately what it contained. It is the box that contains the hand and feet molds of a baby who died. I was overcome with sadness not only thinking about my Scott but for the mother and father of that baby, knowing the grief they are dealing with.
The labor room I was taken to was the room right next to the one were I gave birth to Scott. I was so afraid the nurse was taking me to the same room but turned one door sooner. I was grateful it wasn't the same room (I would have asked for a different room). Joe could tell something was wrong and asked me what I was thinking about. I said I didn't want to talk about it but he knew I was thinking about Scott and I couldn't help the tears from falling.
While I was in the operating room Joe sat right next to me and held my hand. When the baby was born I heard him cry a sweet little cry. The tears started flowing immediately. Al I could say to myself is "he's alive, he's alive." I was so grateful for the sounds of a crying baby. I remember while I labored with Scott hoping and praying the doctors and nurses would be wrong and that he would be born alive. I waited to hear the sounds of a crying baby but he was born still and silent.
Oh how I miss my little Scott. I love Parker so much. I love him for who he is but it will never take away from the love I have for Scott and will never replace him. I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for each one of my precious baby boys. I am grateful to have Hayden and Parker here on Earth with me. I am equally grateful to have Scott as my angel baby and I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with him. I keep finding myself wishing Parker could talk and tell me about his brother Scott.
I am so grateful that Heavenly Father has allowed me to be a mother. Words cannot express the love I feel as I hold my sweet children.
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8 comments:
Congrats! I am so happy for your little family. I am so glad to hear that both you and baby are healthy and doing well. I can't wait to see pictures! Enjoy your new little one :)
Hearing your happy news has truly made my day! Congrats on a healthy baby boy. Parker is a precious name. Get as much rest as possible. (I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep 6 months later.)
Parker is such a handsome little baby and we are so happy to have him part of our family. My kids can't wait to see him!
CONGRATULATIONS YOUNG FAMILY!! I am so happy for you, and I am happy all went well. What a special little family you have. Can't wait to see some pics!!
What a beautiful post. Congrats to you on your new little man and to the two big brothers in your family. Parker doesn't make everything better now, but he sure does make a cute distraction, right?
Hooray for you!
Hello Joey Young Family, We are sooo Happy for you guys and are very excited to come and see the family agian and meet our new nephew Scott. Love you guys, Vegas Youngs
ok you made me cry. Congrats on little Parker. What a sweet gift for C-mas- you are amazing and I'm so happy he is here and you are well and so is he. I'm sure he knew Scott and that they were buddies :)
Thank you again for sharing your tender feelings about Scott and this time for you. I am sure there were a lot of surreal feelings this past week. We love you Jessica.
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