Research Study

I am participating in a research study about spontaneous preterm births. I met with the doctor, Dr. Esplin, yesterday. (I met Dr. Esplin at the hospital the day Scott was born.) In addition to the study he will be seeing me throughout my pregnancy as I am being treated high risk.

I see Dr. Esplin three times for the study. Each time the will collect every kind of liquid sample they can get from me. They also do an ultrasound at each of those visits. The next time I see him for the research study will be in 3 weeks, I think.

I will see him at 18 weeks and the will start me on progesterone to keep hormone levels high. They will also do an ultrasound to check my cervix. They will check it again at 20 and 24 weeks to see if I have an incompetent cervix and need it sewn shut. They also check me for infection every time since that was the problem with Scott.

Because Scott was born early I have a 30% chance of having another preterm birth this time. That is not to say I would deliver at 23 weeks, but sometime before 37 weeks. Depending on how things go they might start me on steroids as early as 24 weeks to help the baby's lungs develop quicker. They will also watch me closely for contractions and see if I need to be on bed rest. But right now everything looks good.

I feel really good about doing this study and seeing Dr. Esplin. He said we will take every precaution with this pregnancy. I was glad when he said if I am every nervous or concerned to call him and he will get me in. He doesn't want me home worrying.

It was confirmed during the ultrasound that there is only one baby. I was kind of hoping for twins. I think it is a girl. Do you have a prediction?

SLY as a Fox

Before Scott was born we decided if we had a boy his name would be Scott Leland Young. We quickly noticed his initials, SLY. I often joked that we would have a sly little fox on our hands. I would say "when he is in high school the girls are going to tell him he's foxxy."

Last week Joe and I purchased this darling little fox stuffed animal. I was so excited when it was finally delivered last night. I have been checking the mail frequently. It is so soft. I love it.
Laura and Sarah, we better watch out, my sly little fox might be after one of your girls in the millennium. (Especially if he is at all as much of a flirt as Hayden is.)

In Rememberance of Scott

When Scott was born the people at Joe's work, UESP, gave us a gift card to Western Gardens. We decided that we wanted to use the money to purchase a tree in remembrance of Scott. We finally were able to get to the nursery today to pick out a tree.

I absolutely love magnolia trees (I even used to ask my family to call my Noli, short for Magnolia). We looked at several different varieties and settled on the Royal Star. I love the name of it. Joe really liked this one because it stays relatively small and Scott was very small.

I really hope that it grows well. We asked if we would be able to transplant it when we move and they said it would be fine. I look forward to watching our little tree grow and thinking about my little Scott.



This morning as we were getting ready to go to the nursery Joe told Hayden we were going to buy a tree to remember Scott by. Hayden turned around and walked to the book shelf and pointed up to the molds I have displayed of Scott. That made me so very happy. I love both my boys so much.

Happy Memorial Day!

Mother's Day

My sister helped me make this to give to my mom and Joe's mom for Mother's Day. I had wanted to give them molds of Scott's feet but we can't get the plaster molds to come out of the mold without breaking. I love the way it turned out.

Difficult Day

This is a wonderful book!

Today is the day I was scheduled to have a C-section to deliver my baby. Instead, Scott Leland Young was stillborn on December 28, 2007. When I woke up this morning I realized I had been dreaming about Scott and the series of events that have taken place since his passing. The day started off very melancholy.


Joe took the day off from work so he could be with me today. Even though I am sad it has been a good day. My sister, Rachael, called bright and early to see how I was doing. A little while later my sister-in-law, Erika called me, too. It means so much to me to know that people care.

My friend Candice tended Hayden so Joe and I could go to the Salt Lake Temple to do sealings. I feel so close to my little Scotty when I am there. We weren't able to do sealings after all but we were able to sit together in the Celestial Room for a long time. It was wonderful to be there.

When Scott was born the hospital made molds of his hands, feet, and face out of plaster. I was afraid of them breaking so I had Stan Watts at Atlas Bronze Casting cast them in bronze for me. After weeks and weeks of waiting and calling multiple times they were finally ready for me today. My mom tended Hayden so I could pick them up this morning.

I couldn't have asked for anything better today. Since I didn't get to have my baby today at least I have his sweet molds. I will cherish them always.

He was so tiny but so perfect. He even had little finger nails.

He had such long fingers. I'm sure he would have been a great piano player.

He looked so much like his big brother, Hayden.

He curled his toes just like his daddy and big brother do.

I am so grateful for these wonderful treasures.

Families are Forever

Last weekend my sister, Rebecca, and her husband, Lance, were sealed to their children, Riley, and Brea, for time and all eternity. This is so special to me. I have prayed for years for this day to come. I am so proud of them. I love them so much and am grateful that we will all be together forever.

I am so happy that they, too, will get to be with my baby Scott again one day.

"I Am a Mother"

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow,

For babies grow up, I've learned, to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

-Author unknown

My dad told me a while ago to stop stressing about my house not being as clean as it was before I got married and had children. Sometimes I feel that if the furniture needs dusting or the floors need to be vacuumed I must not be doing a good job as a wife and mother.

Since Scott was born, I seem to be getting a better perspective on life and what really matters. I am so grateful to be a mother. It is the best thing in the world. I love playing on the floor with Hayden everyday. I love it when he gets a book of the shelf and brings it to me to read to him. We have so much fun at story time and Little Gym.

Hayden doesn't care if the house is not spotless. But he gets so sad if I won't play with him because I "think" I am too busy. I realize how fast Hayden is growing up. I do not want to miss out on making memories with my sweet little boy. I love both of my baby boys so much.

This morning I finished reading "I Am a Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. I really enjoyed this book. All my life I have wanted to be a mom. I have never felt that I was "just a mom" as mentioned in the book. But after reading her book I am even more grateful for the wonderful calling of motherhood.